The Ballad of Nuke Laloosh
The Ballad of Nuke Laloosh
Published by timothymichaelmusic.com
23 MAR 2021
V1.
She taught part time at Alamance Junior College
and her name was Annie Savoy
Dressed a little excessive for the Carolina League.
She liked young, uncomplicated pretty boys
She used her knowledge of the game of baseball
As much as her knowledge of life
For a magical season she’d coach from the bedroom
And for a summer she’d be a wife.
Chorus
Ebby Calvin arrived in Durham
As a certified bonus baby.
He had a quadrophonic Blaupunkt in his Porsche
But what he needed was curveball training
He had a million dollar arm, but a 5 cent head
Fast tracked to the big league show
He’d bring the heat, but they called him Meat
Couldn’t hit water if he fell out of the boat
He grew fungus on his shower shoes
And he breathed through his eyelids
He learned to hold the ball like a fragile egg
And batters would scramble it if he didn’t.
He even learned when wearing a garter
Where the rose in front should be
And When Nuke got the call to go up to the majors
He announced his presence with authority.
V2.
Crash Davis got demoted to the Bulls
Way down in double A
Dreamers passed through on the way to the Bigs
But his career was headed the other way
The team thought he’d make a great coach
And he got Ebby ready to go
Crash hit his last dinger and hung up his cleats
For a different route to make it to the show
Chorus:
Ebby Calvin arrived in Durham
As a certified bonus baby.
He had a quadrophonic Blaupunkt in his Porsche
But what he need was curveball training
He had a million dollar arm, but a 5 cent head
Fast track to the big league show
He’d bring the heat, but they called him Meat
Couldn’t hit water if he fell out of the boat
He grew fungus on his shower shoes
And he breathed through his eyelids
He learned to hold the ball like a fragile egg
And batters would scramble it if he didn’t.
He even learned when wearing a garter
Where the rose in front should be
And When Nuke got the call to go up to the majors
He announced his presence with authority
Bridge
In the end Ol’ Crash won Annie with his superstitious ways
And the fact that he liked long, slow, soft, wet kisses
That He and Annie made last for three days
Chorus
Ebby Calvin arrived in Durham
As a certified bonus baby.
He had a quadrophonic Blaupunkt in his Porsche
But what he need was curveball training
He had a million dollar arm, but a 5 cent head
Fast track to the big league show
He’d bring the heat, but they called him Meat
Couldn’t hit water if he fell out of the boat
He grew fungus on his shower shoes
And he breathed through his eyelids
He learned to hold the ball like a fragile egg
And batters would scramble it if he didn’t.
He even learned when wearing a garter
Where the rose in front should be
And When Nuke got the call to go up to the majors
He announced his presence with authority